Story 10
Healthcare worker, 29
As a healthcare worker I’ve always been knowledgable about the ups and downs of HIV and HIV testing, but ironically, I am very reluctant to depend on any medications overall, including PrEP considering I’m not as sexually active. I would pride myself in front of my friends on how mindful I was by having protected sex every time when, in reality, it was a different story. Like the proverb states “A shoemaker’s son always goes barefoot.” What I wasn’t expecting was how my perspectives on PrEP could change, but for the better.
Months ago, I got very sick out of the blue, felt very weak with fevers that would keep me up at night. “Must be one of those seasonal viruses” my doctor said, but what she didn’t know was about my shameful protection habits on sex. Curiosity got the best of me, and I decided to recur to an at-home HIV test kit that had been lying the depths of my closet, just in case. With a tremendous amount of anxiety I looked at my result and there it was, two lines, the test was positive. I immediately dived into an emotional and psychological breakdown, so much so that I ended calling the Suicide Prevention Line just to have someone to talk to.
With puffy eyes and a bedhead, I headed to Care Resource the next morning and as soon as I got to the clinic, there was a big line coming out of the entrance door. I was shocked to see I was not the only one getting tested for HIV. After a long wait, a social worker takes me to a private room and asks me to tell her the reasons why I’m getting tested. I was amazed by how comforting and understanding this lady was, ensuring me that no matter what the outcome was everything was going to be alright. She tested me again, but this time she picked a drop of blood from my thumb, after the agonizing 20 minutes wait, there it was, one line, the test was negative?
They placed me in the Doctor’s office, I would have to get a confirmatory test, I was very confused. Suddenly someone else enters the room, a tall, good-looking, healthy man in his 60s, who I’ll call “Mr. Doe,” a worker who had a very special message for me and a story to tell. After introducing myself, Mr. Does starts a thorough explanation on how HIV medication works, how is contracted and right after he finishes, he confesses to me that he is an HIV-positive man, who was diagnosed at a very young age, at an age where there were not such things as Truvada or Grindr. Mr Doe was indeed a living proof, a proof that re-assured me, even if that test resulted positive, I’d live a long, beautiful, good life like I’m sure he had lived until now. I felt relived.
The Doctor comes into the office and Mr. Doe leaves, he does a routine examination and explains a concept that was foreign for me until then: PrEP “on demand” or “2-1-1,” what a marvelous thing of nowadays, right? Before I knew it my blood was being drawn and I was home waiting for my results shortly after that. Shivering in hesitation I opened my results, and all I could feel was gratitude. Gratitude for the ones who are there to listen, for those who are dedicated to help my community, for the survivors and gratitude to live in this time in history where these services are available, and everyone can have access to them.
My confirmation test was negative and PrEP 2-1-1 plus protected sex have worked for me until this day. I really hope for everyone’s experience during those difficult situations to be equal or better than mine, and for all of us, regardless of the results, to keep living a beautiful and healthy long life, like Mr. Doe. Thank you.